when is sex done?


RealityHealthCheck: How do You Tell When Women Are Done With Sex?


at first, it seems like an easy: sex is over when the male ejaculates. that’s certainly the answer the mainstream media subscribes to -> i’m not even referring to porn, but soap operas, ‘adult’ shows, and anything coming-of-age related. this was a discussion DF and i had frequently, and perhaps part of the reason why i’ m still attached to him -> i’ve never been able to have such an honest talk with anyone else.  for him, male ejaculation declaringsex to be over was the biggest fallacy, and we had a very open exchange of pain/pleasure and animalism/human. but the female orgasm is a tricky thing. and the concept that sex ends with orgasm may be even trickier or more complex to articulate.

But often enough in your sex life, you’ll probably find that reaching orgasm once, for you or your partner, doesn’t automatically turn off your or their desire for more sex or other kinds of physical intimacy.

the quest for multiple orgasms seems to be the trophy prize at the end of a sexual conquest, some people think one orgasm: gold medal. multiple orgasms: the stanley cup. but its really to each its own. as Heather Corinna writemeg1s, much more eloquently in her post, sex is more than the physical, but about the parties involved verbalizing what each wants: whether they are satisfied or want to continue for more. maybe the intensity of the first is all you need, or maybe the push for multiple orgasms is for the sole pleasure of one partner. this, of course, can get convoluted by the faking of orgasms, you only have to watch When Harry Met Sally to see how easy it is.

Sometimes, we just aren’t connecting enough physically or emotionally to continue with sex, we get distracted and lose the mood, or just aren’t feeling well or energetic, even if we really wanted to be sexual at first.

i’ve been trying to separate the emotional from the physical in sex b/c i’ve been on the receiving end of ‘no emotional attachment’ so many times, as much as i know i’m setting myself up for pain and failure, i’m determined to be the person who seeks sex out for personal physical pleasure (the 3 P’s!). what i’ve written above about the importance of connecting during sex isn’t contrary to my mission but rather demonstrates why i’ve been having a hard time making it happen. maybe i watch too many romantic comedies and/or maybe i haven’t slept around enough. drunken hookups are a whole other bag. i don’t expect romantic, long relationships from sleeping with someone, i think my fault is i want at least a friendship. we’ve shared this intimate moment, and no matter how raw or animalistic it was, at the end, we’re still human so let’s at least acknowledge what happened. i ‘m the girl who still expects a phone call the next day. 



One response to “when is sex done?

  1. there was a segment in funny people about the friending issue. it’s a very good excuse to preclude the marathon sex that i actually want to be having. being a nerd sucks.

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