all useless

Recipient:

TIME/ PO Box 61120/Tampa, FL 33661-1120

Sent:

List of useless facts I found on the ground

  • Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels
  • the dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle
  • The ZIP in “ZIP code” means Zoning Improvement Plan.
  • John Wilkes Booth’s brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln’s son.
  • Slugs have four noses.
  • By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
  • China has more English speakers than the United States.
  • Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

Reasoning:

After a finals week from hell, my last one ever, I’m relaxing like never before in a quaint little summer house in Newport, RI, spending ridiculous amounts of money on seafood, drinking all the cheap beer I can, and sleeping on the beach. I still have a 5 pg to write for my Amherst Human Rights class, but after writing over 40 pgs for my other classes, i think i can handle that. hopefully.

I’m in such a ridiculously lazy mode that I dont think i can do anything academic anymore, as much as I do love and enjoy it when I am… thus, list of useless knowledge.

i’ve sent it to TIME magazine b/c maybe the person on the other side will get a chuckle out of it. and though their paths may never meet, maybe he/she could pass this list onto Joel Stein who could write an amazing op-ed piece on the cheesy commodity and joy we find in lists, especially lists of useless facts.

i heart joel stein. he recently wrote an op-ed piece called “my taco with tancredo” that describes his lunch interview with congressman Tom Tancredo from Colorado, who recently tried to run for President, but had to drop out early from the race because his only platform was anti-immigration. he hates illegal mexican immigrants, but he loves having mexican food.

apparently even republicans are complex and contradictions. i’m sure joel stein could do something genius with giraffes, john wilkes booth’s brother, and quicksand.

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