paris hilton’s day at the office

recipient:

American Express/P.O. Box 31511/Salt Lake City, UT 84131-9934

sent:

fake Hilton Hotel Honors American Express card my father received in the mail.

along with an application for the card with the information and address

Paris Hilton/P.O. Box 9003/Addison, TX 75001-9003

reasoning:

get it? get it? i sent the american express company’s hilton hotel honors division an application from paris hilton, herself. ok, well paris hilton working from the customer service desk of her heir empire. when the sietch blog suggested using the no postage required envelopes to send stuff back to the spamming corporations, one reader suggested that this can be done with catalogs as well. you call the catalog company to change your address, and you can either reroute it to another catalog company, or even more cleverly back to the company you are calling – either due to outsourcing or cluelessness on the part of the customer service representative.

so here, i thought it’d be somewhat amusing to have it seem like paris hilton went to her dad’s work one day (like she would ever be caught dead behind a computer, with a headset in her ears…), the customer service division that works with american express, the one situated in Addision, TX and decided as a practical joke to apply for one of their credit cards. not that she would need more – what do you think paris hilton’s credit limit is??!? so paris hilton signs up for an american express “hilton hhonors” card and sends it in, but doesn’t want the person on the other end to catch on that it’s her, and then think that they have her address, and consequently sell it to paparazzi or save it to stalk her, themselves, so she uses the exact same address of the customer service PO box that she is working/writing from. the application goes out in the mail, travels all over the united states, only to land back in the place where it was sent from. a guy who graduated from University of Chicago but has been unsuccessfully in keeping a steady job, and has taken up the night shift with American Express to supplement his ever-increasing need for crack, overlooks that the application says “Paris Hilton” and the address is the very same box he took the envelope out of in the first place. paris hilton gets a credit card issued to her, but its sent to the place that issued it, they don’t realize their mistake until they get it in the mail but have supplied paris with the card info via email, and by then they have given her a 20,000 credit limit, and it’s already been sent on buying Benji Madden another tattoo, and her dog “tinkerbell”(?) another diamond necklace.

that’s how it will go down.

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