sent:
Kubler-Ross “Five Stages of Grief”
reasoning:
i’ve been going through some heartbreak, and as per the recommendation of CG, a mix according to the ’stages of grief’ just might help me get through this. the only model i was able to find with some academic theory to back it up was Kubler-Ross’ Five Stages of Grief . but even the brief synopsis of the Wikipedia writes about how the theory has been discredited by many experts in the field as incomplete. a google search will bring up ‘the seven stages’, or the ’six stages’, but no credit to whom came up with the theory is ever given. if you can find a better model, please please let me know. Kubler-Ross is more focused on a loss in terms of physical death, i’d like one that’s more just about loss in the general: loss of a friend, loss of a love, etc.
in the meantime, i bring up this break-up mix to ask for your help – i’ve credited in parenthesis the recommendations of friends as for what particular songs would fit or relate to one of the stages listed. if you have any, please tell me about it in the comment section. i am hoping to keep this on hand for when friends go through rough times and breakups.
Kubler-Ross “Five Stages of Grief”
1) Denial:
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of situations and individuals that will be left behind after death. [1]
Example - “I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me.
- You know what it is – T.I. (DDW)
2)
Anger:
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
[1]
Example - “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; “Who is to blame?”
- Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson (SL)
- These Boots Were Made For Walking – Nancy Sinatra (JM)
- If I know You – Presets (DDW)
3)
Bargaining:
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the person is saying, “I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time…”
[1]Example - “Just let me live to see my children graduate.”; “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”; “I will give my life savings if…”
- Paris – Friendly Fires (DDW)
- You And I – Zoot Woman (DDW)
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect themself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer an individual up that is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
[1]Example - “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die . . . What’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”
- Depressing – Beyonce (FA)
- Keep Breathing – Ingrid Michaelson (FA)
- In the Dark – Death Cab for Cutie (FA)
- “If You Could Read My Mind” – Gordon Lightfoot (PC) ->Depression/acceptance, with a wee bit of bargaining
- All my little words – Magnetic Fields (DDW)
This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the death that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone. Additionally, feelings and physical pain may be non-existent. This stage has also been described as the end of the dying struggle. [1]
Example - “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
- Go Now – Moody Blues (PK)
- Golden Cage – Whitest Boy Alive (DDW)
- Damaged – Dannity Kane (IH)
